Phew, it's good to be back!

I'll be honest, the months before have not been my best times. Since it neared A2 examinations until about a few weeks ago, I have been focusing more on my personal development and overcoming some major struggles. It was a roller coaster ride. Yet with all the noise and madness, I was blessed with love, support and kindness. And now, I am happy to say that I am getting back on track with a fresh and determined mindset. I am ready for the next big stage of my life- university!

That's right, I've just started studying second year Actuarial Science in Heriot-Watt University in Edinburgh! (fangirls)

I'm in bliss. It's a new chapter of my life, and I am starting it abroad! Living on my own, meeting new friends and experiencing a whole new culture. It's truly a magical experience.

More on that later. As much as I am super excited about sharing my life for the next three years here (best believe I will), I thought of talking about the things I've learnt; and want to share with the world. I was truly someone who had a good luck streak with my life where hardship did come but in minor blows. It was only until recently that I fully experienced somewhat "rock bottom".

And you know what? I'm grateful for that. You can choose to gain or to keep losing, I chose to gain. After some time struggling to get back up, I finally did. It's cheesy I know, because everyone goes or has gone through this stage. But that's the beauty of life isn't it? It's not the same for everyone, but everyone goes through some form of hardship. We are all in this together, and that's why I wanted to unwind by openly expressing what I have gained from this. And I know now, I can only gain more in life, which is now my university life.

So here it is, 19 things I learnt turning 19. Because right smack middle of this entire period was my birthday. Well, at least I got a gift to remember.

1. Life, although carefully planned and executed, does not go the way you want it to. At all. You could have planned out five years worth of life goals, but it only takes mere seconds to destroy all that you have built.

2. If you slip in life, or hit rock bottom, that's totally normal and fine. All you have to do is make use of plan B or plan C or etc and give it your maximum effort. Your new path might just surprise you, even when your Plan A dreams were smashed to smithereens.

3. The harder you work, the luckier you get. Even when you are confident in your work, keep striving to make it better. You will widen your oppurtunities for yourself in the long run.

4. You cannot depend on anyone more than yourself to slowly get back on your feet. You are the one who makes yourself eat and the one who tucks yourself in at night.

5. Be your biggest fan and your biggest critic. Motivate as well as evaluate yourself. No one else can be both these things at the same time other than you.

6. So love yourself. They say you cannot love another without loving yourself first, and at first I thought that was bollocks, but it's not. Self love means you know your worth, your wants and your needs. Self love means you act upon those and stand up for yourself when shit hits the fan.

7. First love will hurt the most. Because first love is not the first person you love, it's the first person who breaks your heart.

8. First love most likely doesn't last, even when you are confident it will. That's also why it hurts so much, the expectations and you are shattered.

9. Any form of close relationship, platonic or intimate, is a two-way street. If you are not receiving or not giving with immense love, compassion and dedication, it’s not entirely worth it. You deserve to find people who you will feel absolute bliss and love for and be returned with the exact same feeling

10. Do not cling on to people that cannot benefit you in any way possible. As much of a good person you think they are, they will not be a great companion for you.

11. Do no harm but take no shit. Treat others as how you want to be treated, but also stand your ground when necessary.

12. Remember that in life, even with your family and your beloved friends, you come first. Just like how airplane safety guides tell you to wear your oxygen mask first before attending to others, make sure you put your needs and your comfort above others.

13. Don't have expectations for people or for situations. No matter how much you try, you cannot control circumstances and you cannot alter a person's personality. It would only hurt you more to try and move a brick wall.

14. Hence, accept that some things are not in your control, but you can choose how you react to them.

15. Mistakes are what make you learn. If you never did make the mistake, then how would you be able to grow and expand your potential?

16. Be fearless to fail. Life is not perfect, and neither is yourself. You cannot expect perfection in everything that you do, but do input maximum effort, even if the results do not turn in favour.

17. Every relationship will be a rollercoaster ride with ups and downs. Sometimes the downs are plummeting and harsh, but two people in a relationship who truly want to invest in each other will sort things out

18. And just like relationships, or anything big and beautiful, it takes time. Your goals, your spiritual growth and love, they all need time and effort to bloom and flourish. Give it time.

19. However, life is short. So love fiercely, laugh loudly, live freely. Give everything and anything you care for your attention, time and love. Life is not about quantity, it is about quality.